We gave the birthday boy four matchbox cars. He was thrilled and my kiddo was proud. I looked at the mom and said, “I’m betting he has 50 more of those at home.”

Her reply: “And he loves them. I don’t understand why we spend all this money on some huge present. When he really just wants more Pokemon cards and little cars. More of what he’s already got.”

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This reminded me of a book I read recently about parenting, How to Raise an Adult: Break free of the overparenting trap and prepare your kid for success by Julie Lythcott-Haims, a former dean at Stanford.

Specifically this passage:

Provide materials – wooden blocks, plastic cups, fabric, pots and pans, dolls, boxes, sporting equipment, Lego bricks, Lincoln Logs, Tinkertoys, arts and crafts materials – but let you kid decide what to do with those things.

There’s a reason behind the joke that kids prefer the manufacturer’s box over the toy inside; the box can be a ship, a sled, a house, a bed, a fort, a hole, a stage, a mountain. The toy is whatever the manufacturer says it is.

We can give our kids fancy stuff (Barbie dream house!) Or we can give them what they already know and love (because you need more stuffed animals lying around.) Or we can just give them a cardboard box and get on with life.

Fun with a box

I decided to test the cardboard box theory the other day – during a rainstorm. Because it’s rained 97 days during the month of February and we’ve been inside ALL 97 OF THOSE DAYS.

I looked at my children and barked, “Boots! Coats! Everybody out!”

I grabbed a big box and filled it with things: wiffle balls, baseball bats, dinosaurs, swords, matchbox cars. I set it on the ground, like Sir Walter Raleigh when he laid his coat on a puddle for Queen Elizabeth. (We live in North Carolina, y’all. We worship Sir Walter Raleigh. Also, chivalry isn’t dead.) I dragged a camp chair under the porch awning and parked myself there with a trashy novel.

My children ignored the getting-soggier-by-the-minute box, opting to puddle-stomp and climb onto my lap. Not exactly the reading nirvana I was going for.

I pointed at the box and said, “Did you look in it?”

The older one pried it open. Balls! Swords! Cars! He promptly dumped the contents onto the muddy ground and climbed in, shutting the flaps. He’d made a RAIN SHELTER! This was quickly followed by a RAIN BARREL! Which meant he threw open the flaps, leaned his head back on one, and relaxed his limbs on the others. Buckets of water poured onto his face and he was content.

He started rocking in his box. It was A BOAT! He was NOAH IN THE FLOOD!

Little brother noticed the fun and wandered over to pick up a bat. What would he do with the bat? Yep, he went there, lightly tapping his brother about the head and shoulders. I let this play out for a few minutes. So little brother could learn social cues about what behaviors will or will not endear you to others. Then I instructed him to “find something else to do. We do not hit.”

He stuck his tongue out and whacked a tree. Til he climbed on top of his brother in the box. Both now sopping wet, they rode the waves together. “Mommy! A big shark is going to get you! Look out!”

They were entertained – and quite moist – for 30 minutes. Because of a box. Sometimes life is that simple.

Fostering creativity

Here’s another quote I love from How to Raise an Adult:

In my mind I think of … the definition of what it means to be a good parent. Keep a kid safe and create opportunity for a child to think independently and take risks, build character – that’s part of being a great parent.

In other words, just give your kid a box. Or the permission to play in the rain. Or a bunch of random legos without an instruction manual. Or the chance to collect 100 matchbox cars (which is why he needs the box – it makes a pretty rad parking garage.) And then give him 30 minutes to do whatever the hell he wants to do with this stuff.

Life can be that simple. And you might actually get to read a book by yourself, uninterrupted for a change.

What do you think? Are you ready to throw caution to the wind and give your kid a box in the rain or do you think he needs the latest and greatest “on trend” toy?

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Photo credit, featured image: Jordan Whitt from pixabay.com